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A relationship or anything, for that matter, seems to be beautiful and wonderful in the beginning. But that feeling does not last for we hardly cherish what we already have. In this way, it is common to become disrespectful, which causes further problems and difficulties.
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An old saying goes that disrespect arises when people get close and complaints increase when they become distant. Because once two people get close, disdain grows. They no longer admire each others merits and shining points. Just as dust accumulates discreetly, likewise, the dark side of a person fills ones mind, unnoticed. This is how disrespect grows between two people.
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We do not know where those afflictions come from. It is difficult to point them out exactly. In a relationship between spouses, friends or partners, unknown disturbances cause uncomfortable feelings if we do not know how to deal with them. Then people get distant, and complaints and hatred definitely increase when a relationship ends with no more support.
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In fact, each and every life has its unique value to accomplish on its own. So, there is no need to scorn yourself or others. Disrespect increases as a result of accumulation. People tend to accumulate what is never good. Our mind has this tendency to dwell on negative aspects while positive things are more easily forgotten. And that is the reason why disrespect grows in a relationship. On the contrary, what we should cherish is what we have. However, strangely enough, we are unable to see anything positive when we live in community after a long period of time. This inability prevents the bright experiences of the past to make our life blossom.
Therefore, we need to observe how these problems occur as well as their causes and impacts. Once we see this process clearly, the answer is there.
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The Four Word Rule: Respect, Negotiation, Agreement, Observance, which is explained in a former article of Sunshine Breakfast, could be applied to the problem above.
Mutual understanding and tolerance, sincere communication and patient adjustment turn disrespect and complaints into respect and support. Keep the promise of being beneficial to yourself and others. Keep the promise even when obstacles arise. Adjust your mind. Cherish what you already have at this moment. Let this precious moment be enlightenment. You know, to despise others is to distain yourself for your mind gets stained from it.
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A radical solution to be respectful is to go back to the very beginning. Restart everything and delete all the memories as if nothing ever happened and nothing has accumulated between you and others. Then you will stay in a simple and powerful status to think of a solution.
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Go back to the most beautiful point when people first meet. Go back to that point each day, in each event. We will get supported by the fountain of life in this way.
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